Book Cover!!!
The book cover is finally here! It won’t be much longer till I can share New Parish with everyone!
The old saying that, “a picture says a thousand words” is true… enjoy!
Waiting…
It seems sometimes that we spend our lives waiting… waiting for things to change, or waiting for things to get better, or waiting for the book cover to arrive… oh wait that’s probably just me. Anyways, waiting is part of our lives, maybe the part that we like least. In my book New Parish Sarah finds herself waiting for her dreams to come true and seeing them move further and further out of her reach.
What can we do when we get tasked with the dreaded waiting issue in our lives? I suppose we all have our different ways of dealing with it, trying to stay busy doing something, trying not to think about it, checking status… oh, wait that’s just me again.
There are times when our waiting brings us great joy, after the waiting is done – there are other times it simply brings relief that the waiting is over. Will Sarah find great joy, or the simple relief? Find out in New Parish…
New Parish Coming Soon!!!!!!
Excerpt from New Parish:
“That night, Thanksgiving Eve, as they were putting things in the fridge, doing the final clean up, and getting ready for the final stretch of food prep in the morning before the feast, Sarah’s mom said, “You know Sarah, Donnie’s back from Europe, he’s not married yet. He’d be a good catch.”
“Eeew, Mom,” was Sarah’s instant reply, while Hannah giggled at her from the sink.
“What’s wrong with him?” her mom asked in surprise.
“Besides the fact that he’s completely self absorbed, thinks he’s the most intelligent person on the planet, lives in his parent’s basement and will never move out, is very condescending and talks down to everyone, and is a jerk – nothing really,” Sarah listed.
“Okay, okay,” conceded her mom. “But, I’m sure if you give it some effort, you could find a really good guy. Have you tried some of those online things?”
“Yes, I have,” Sarah rolled her eyes. “They’re not bad really, but online people can lie just as easily as they can in person, maybe even easier. I’m tired of “putting in effort” on guys who aren’t worth it.”
“All men take work, even the really good ones,” advised Sarah’s mom. “They’re usually oblivious, forgetful, and have no clue, until a good woman works on them.”
Sarah and Hannah both burst out laughing to hear their mom talking about men like that.
Later that night there was a knock on Sarah’s bedroom door, “Come in,” she said, but Hannah had already opened the door and was entering the room.
“Hey,” she said tentatively.
“Hey,” Sarah replied curiously.
“So, tell me about this New Parish place and plural marriage,” Hannah said, as she plopped down at the end of Sarah’s bed and sat with her legs crossed like an Indian – just like she used to do when they were kids.
“What do you want to know?” Sarah inquired with surprise.
“You’re not the only one who’s had “dating” experiences with guys who aren’t who you want to spend your life with. If this is a good thing, I might think about considering it too,” explained Hannah.
“Oh,” Sarah said, now in complete surprise. “Okay, well, what I’ve learned so far is that they have the same beliefs we were taught growing up in the church, except, they still have everything that was restored and didn’t give anything up, back in the day.”
“Okay, so how do they do it?” Hannah urged her sister on.
“They use an old traditional matchmaking system, but no dowries, the girls have freedom to choose and get out of the marriage if it’s not working out. Brother Michael, the church leader is so funny…”
Sarah spent over two hours explaining what she’d learned to Hannah. When Hannah finally left her room, Sarah felt like she somehow understood the whole thing better. As she lay there drifting off to sleep she thought, “Maybe explaining to Hannah clarified things in my own mind.” She felt very much at peace with things, and hoped she could stay that way.”
Life is like a scrap book…
We’re always building our lives, tweaking them, rebuilding them, adding things that make them better, removing things that we no longer need… Like life, making a scrapbook can be challenging and fun, it allows us to see with a unique perspective the things that are important to us at different times in our lives. We not only place pictures in our scrapbooks but also mementos that remind us of special times, or activities, or places that are important to us. Whether it’s making a scrapbook or living our lives we are drawn to what we love, what we want, and what will make us happy. Tweaking our lives or our scrapbooks is always a bit of work, okay, sometimes a lot of work, but in the end, we end up with something that we love…
In New Parish, Sarah doesn’t make a scrapbook per se, but in her scrapbook of life she’s making some big changes that gives her a unique perspective, and that she hopes will be just the right tweak…
Where will Sarah find a place to put her new life’s picture? In New Parish, of course!
New Parish Coming Soon!!!!
Excerpt from New Parish:
“Sarah nodded again, listening intently to what Brother Michael was saying.
“The last thing I want to suggest to you is to take some time to ponder and pray about this decision. This is your life. Is this really what you want for your life? This lifestyle has many blessings but it can also be considered a curse to those who don’t have the capacity to accept it in all its varied and sometimes complicated components. I want you to understand that I only want the best for you. If this is truly what you want to do, then I’ll do everything in my power to make it happen for you. But, if you have doubts about it, then take the time to find the answers you need to put those doubts to rest, before you make your decision. Okay?”
Still nodding Sarah said, “Yes, and thanks for helping me, and for letting me come out here and stay in your home, with your family.”
“You’re very welcome,” Brother Michael said with a smile and a wink, “I’ve got nothing to hide… really.””
Heroes and Villains
Every story has to have both heroes and villains, there’s really no way around it if you want a good intriguing, interesting, and involving story. In life we find a few heroes and run up on a villain or two as we sojourn here on planet earth. Sometimes heroes are easy to spot and sometimes villains are easy to spot, sometimes they’re not… I’ve been fooled a few times myself, as I’m sure most people have. The old saying, “actions speak louder than words,” is very true when detecting either a hero or a villain – and even then, we can be fooled.
There are times in life when we get into situations where we have to be rescued by heroes and there are other times we have to become our own hero and recuse ourselves. In either situation it’s not easy, if you need rescuing that always means you’re in trouble. In New Parish there is more than one hero and more than one villain. There are a few times where Sarah is rescued by these other heroes and there are a couple of times where she has to become her own hero. Finding the inner strength to become her own hero isn’t easy, and leads to emotions she doesn’t want to face, but she finds a way…
New Parish Coming Soon!!!
Excerpt from New Parish:
“When the waiter left to get their drinks Brad nodded toward the dance floor and smiling broadly said, “Let’s dance.”
“Okay,” Sarah smiled back.
He took her hand in his and led her to an open space on the floor – the band was playing A Moment Like This. Brad pulled her into him, uncomfortably close for Sarah. She tried to position herself to create a little more distance between them, as the vocalist sang, “Some people wait a life time for a moment like this.” He encircled her in his arms, moving even closer, caressing her back as they danced. Sarah could feel his body against hers, this made her feel very awkwardly compromised. She felt a little breathless and was working hard to regain her composure.
He spoke softly near her ear, “I have to be in Key West tomorrow morning.”
“Okay so maybe we could exchange emails and keep in touch,” she suggested.
He responded, “We have tonight.” His hand dropped to touch her hip, his fingers quickly following her panty line.
Sarah swiftly grabbed his hand and put it back on her waist, “That’s very inappropriate,” she said firmly.
“Lighten up,” he smiled broadly at her.
Sarah didn’t think his smile was nearly as attractive as she had before the dance begun. She noticed several people watching her, she didn’t know why they were watching but that made her feel even more uncomfortable.
“I want you,” Brad whispered in her ear.
“Yeah,” she said emphatically, “That’s not going to happen!”
Brad slid his hand from her back around her waist and up her side, Sarah tried to wriggle out of his arms, “Let go!” she demanded.
Brad laughed and grabbed her breast.
Sarah’s instincts took over, the self defense classes she’d taken when she moved to Atlanta came freshly to her mind… her knee found its target with the precise results that her instincts and training had intended to extract. Brad let out a loud groan and fell to his knees holding his crotch, then onto the floor in a fetal position.
He’d let go of Sarah immediately, free from his grip Sarah took deep a breath and began her move to the exit. Some guys at the bar were laughing so hard they had to hold onto the bar to steady themselves. Sarah forced herself to be in control, she held her head high not making eye contact with anyone and walked toward the door of the restaurant. Two girls sitting at the end of the bar, said as she passed them, “You go girl!” Sarah kept walking, inside she could feel herself falling…
She stepped through the door and felt a tear escape. She quickened her step and was across the parking lot in a few seconds. Stepping on the boardwalk she left the lights of the restaurant and parking lot behind – the darkness matched her feelings. Her pace was slowing, she felt like she was crashing inside. At the end of the boardwalk she stopped at the swing that had earlier been her respite to prepare for a new adventure. Earlier when she was excited to meet an incredibly handsome, nice, friendly guy for lunch… Now memories of many other failed dates were creeping into her thoughts, all the jerks, of her past were laughing at her for falling for this completely stupid social interaction called dating! “Why did I even go out with him?” she thought to herself then she answered herself, “He was handsome and friendly. That’s why! How stupid…” Then with a firm resolve, “I’ll never do it again!” she said aloud. “How could I have been sucked back into a situation like that?” she asked. All the emotions of what had happened on her “last date” and the thoughts and feelings of not knowing what to do about the decision she came out here to make came crashing down on her like the whole ocean had landed on her. She knew that now she had to think about the hard choices, and what she wanted for the rest of her life, and what she was willing to live with for the rest of her life. Never being a mom wasn’t something she wanted to live with for the rest of her life. She sat there and cried for a while… she’d never felt so alone in her life. She’d figured out long ago that there wouldn’t be a Knight in shining armor riding on horse that would come rescue her, but she’d always thought there would be a nice guy to spend her life with, out there somewhere.
Sarah pulled her sandals off and got up, she started walking down the beach trying to clear her head of the emotions she was fighting. She could feel the sand beneath her feet which was a vaguely comforting. The wind started blowing, making her scarf float behind her like a flag of surrender. Anger began cropping up first on her emotions list, for allowing herself to get tricked into that situation, embarrassment was next for what he’d tried to do, then sadness, frustration, disappointment, and back to loneliness…”
The Game
Anyone who knows me, knows I’m a huge NBA fan. I have players and teams that I like, and some I don’t. The meter by which I measure the players is by their skill and finesse in playing the game. Some of the most skillful players don’t always win the game, but they always walk away with their honor intact. When playing the game with integrity, even if you don’t win the game, you don’t have to look back and wish you’d not done something… that doesn’t mean you can’t be bold and courageous on the court, it just means that you don’t have to hurt someone else to achieve your goals. To me skill and finesse is much preferred to playing dirty. The old saying, “Life is what you make it,” is true, we can live our lives and play the game with honor, or without… either way it’s what we make it.
I think life is a lot like basketball, it’s an exhilarating adventure that we’re all on… we can choose to play with integrity, or commit fouls… but at the end of the game we all have to live the life we’ve made. We can walk away with our honor intact or wishing we’d done better.
In my book New Parish there’s no basketball, but there are people living their lives with integrity, or at least doing their best, to do their best. Sarah finds new friends who’ve learned that it’s better to help others along their way than to stick a foot out to trip them as they go by. She finds people who are willing to work hard instead of cheat their way to the hoop – and people who help you up instead of kicking you when you’re down. She even finds a new team to be a part of, a team where she can not only fulfill her own dreams but help others make their dreams come true too. Even though there’s no basketball in New Parish there’s lots of game and plenty of adventure.
New Parish Coming Soon!!!!!!
Excerpt from New Parish:
““So can I ask you guys some questions about plural marriage? I need to know the whole story, warts and all,” Sarah almost pleaded with Susan.
“Sure, just give me a few minutes to set things up,” Susan replied. She busied herself with gathering dishes and food, all these were placed on the large island in the kitchen. “This is how we do it,” Susan smiled at Sarah who was watching her actions in bewildered silence. There were brownies, ice cream, cupcakes, and cookies covering the top of the island now, with dishes at each corner, “Okay, we’ve got all the essentials for “girl talk,” Susan said as she completed her task.
Sarah laughed and thought, “Yeah, after getting to know them, this fits them exactly.”
Susan sent a text to her sister wives and Mary and soon everyone was entering the kitchen wondering what the “girl talk” session was about. “Sarah wants the low down on plural marriage,” explained Susan grabbing a brownie and sitting on one of the high stools around the island, “Warts and all.” They all laughed and gathered around the sugar smorgasbord.
Sarah smiled and asked, “Has it always been this way? You all seem so happy… What about jealousy? Do you get jealous? How do you deal with it? How does Brother Michael deal with it?””
If you want the answers to Sarah’s questions, you have to read the book… which is coming soon!
Dreams…
Dreams are what motivate us to do great things, or even simple things that make us happy. Dreams can take us to the moon, or inspire us to open our own business, or move to a new place – dreams can also encourage us to become something more than we are, such as a teacher, or a writer, or a mother…
We all have different dreams, things that we want more than anything else, things that quicken us… For Sarah this dream was to become a mother, she wanted that more than anything else – the problem was finding a guy to have children with. At 27 she begins to wonder if her dream will ever come true. She feels her dream is behind schedule, and begins to worry that it’s becoming out of reach…
Turning our dreams into reality takes a lot of hard work and can take a bit of facing fears and new situations that could throw us off track if we let them. Dreams take a lot of focus, and most of the time they take all the dreamer has inside to make them come true…
New Parish Coming Soon!!!!!!!
Excerpt from New Parish:
“The frustration of it all boiled over in Sarah’s mind so she decided to go for a walk to try and clear her head.
The cool air and busy sidewalks were almost enough to distract her mind from the pervading thoughts of how much this plural marriage thing could go wrong. She wanted to believe that things could be as wonderful as Mary said they were, but she knew how people could be, especially men… her thoughts went to, “Maybe I should just drop the whole thing,” then the idea of dating again entered her thoughts which almost made her nauseous. Then the thought of giving up on her dream of having kids and a family came to her mind. A tear rolled down her face, which she quickly brushed away, that thought was the saddest one she’d ever had…
Sarah looked up at the sky and saw a plane flying west, she knew she would be on one soon… flying west. She breathed out a sigh and with a new resolve walked back to her apartment.”
Changing Seasons
As Spring is rapidly approaching my thoughts wander off to the changing of the seasons. Everyone has their favorite season, mine is Fall or Autumn if one is formal. That’s where New Parish begins, I don’t think I planned it that way on purpose, but maybe that’s where it began because of my love of Fall. Oh, I like the other seasons too and they’re all present in my book New Parish, but I’ve always enjoyed Fall the best. Sarah enjoys Fall with her family in Savannah for Thanksgiving then the story moves on to Winter. Winter is nice, I like the cooler weather, but it can get too cold and have other challenges, such as wild winter storms. Sarah’s first visit to New Parish is in the winter, this visit, isn’t just fun, but very enlightening… Sarah’s first winter in New Parish becomes an inner journey of winter changing into Spring. Spring is nice, it’s like life begins again, after a long time of barrenness… Sarah’s first Spring in New Parish is by far the most unique one she’s ever experienced, I won’t give spoilers… Spring is also a prelude to Summer. Summer can be nice in New Parish, early in the morning and late in the evening, after the sun goes down, but it can get too hot and has lots of insects that like to munch on a person. I don’t talk about the insects much in my book, New Parish, there’s way too many other things to be getting on with. As summer fades in New Parish the cycle begins again, and Fall returns with a whole new situation…
Of all the seasons we enjoy in New Parish or anywhere else I remain firm in my love of Fall, it’s cool but not too cold, there are still flowers hanging around, and it kicks off the holiday season, which if I’m honest is really my favorite season…
I hope everyone will enjoy all the seasons in Sarah’s journey to New Parish!
New Parish Coming Soon!!!!
Excerpt from New Parish: Winter was Sarah’s first season in New Parish
“The next day after breakfast Sarah and Mary decided to get out and explore some of the community and enjoy the snow that had fallen. Several of Mary’s little brothers and sisters tagged along with them. They were all bundled up in coats, scarves, gloves, and boots. Sarah laughed at herself and the rest of the gang, they were definitely prepared. Sarah had already decided that the community was quite beautiful but now with a blanket of snow it seemed like a picture postcard of a Christmas village from long ago. There was even a wooden wagon with red painted wheels going down the road pulled by two large chocolate brown horses, it was all very picturesque.”
Connections…
Have you ever pondered the connections we make throughout our lives? I do sometimes, and the pondering of these connections seems to spread out like an intricate spider web of experiences reaching from one encounter to another… When we’re children we form connections based on what we need or want, that doesn’t change much when we’re adults. We still form connections with others who can provide us with something we need or want – whether that something is friendship, or romance, or simply a bridge from where we are to where we want to be.
As these connections form we grow, we learn, we experience… our lives become fuller, more defined, and even sometimes more complicated. It’s not always easy to leave the comfortable connections we’re sure of – the ones we’ve known for a long time, and take hold of the new connections that will expand ourselves and our lives. But, as we move forward with these new connections we can look back and find that some of those old connections have become more sure and solid – we find in the end we haven’t lost anything, only grown and gained so much more.
In my book New Parish Sarah worries about her connections, the old ones with her family and the new ones she’s forming with her new friends and the new way of life she’s planning to undertake. I hope you enjoy finding out how she handles all of her connections…
New Parish Coming Soon!!!!
Excerpt from New Parish:
“What came next was her family’s version of a full on intervention. Upon entering the kitchen Sarah found the whole family assembled, “Hey, what’s up?” she asked casually hoping for the best.
Her older brother Dave, spoke first, “What are you thinking? Going out west to join a commune, and be a part of a cult? I thought you were smarter than that.”
Sarah laughed, “I’m thinking more than you are! I’ve never depended on your opinion to gage my intelligence. I’ve been doing the research and asking questions, what do you base your information on?”
He didn’t reply, Sarah’s father spoke next, “Are you serious about this or is this some kind of practical joke? If this is a joke, it’s not funny.”
“It’s not a joke, Dad, I met this very nice girl at the children’s center, where I volunteer, and she’s from out there. So, we got to talking, she told me about where she’s from and I got curious about it. I’ve had a lot of bad dates lately, well, for several years, there’s just a limited number of decent guys and I haven’t been able to find one, so I thought this might be an option. I haven’t decided on anything yet, but, I’m considering it seriously,” Sarah tried to explain her side of this obviously now blown out of proportion story.
“So, you’re really thinking about marrying a man who is already married?” Hannah asked.
“That’s disgusting!” interjected Brenda.
“Whatever…” Sarah shrugged.
Hannah spoke up to explain her question, “I didn’t mean it was disgusting,” she eyed Brenda with an annoyed look. “I meant that it could be complicated. What if his other wife or wives don’t like you, or you don’t like them? That could be really complicated.”
“I’ve talked with the leader out there about a lot of that stuff. There’s ways to deal with it, and the girl always has options, and choices,” Sarah explained.
Most of the family was shaking their heads in the negative by this time. Sarah was wondering what was going to happen next and how much longer it would take the kids to get into the attic, when a loud bang from that direction shook the house. Everyone in the kitchen could hear the kids shouting and laughing from above.
“The kids are in the attic!” Brenda shouted with panic in her voice, as everyone except Sarah and Hannah ran out of the room.
Sarah and Hannah exchanged smiles, “Good save,” Hannah accused Sarah.
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sarah feigned innocence.
“Did you tell them about the old sea captain?” asked Hannah.
Sarah smiled, “Yep.”
“Yeah, the others don’t know you like I do, or they’d have sorted that out,” smiled Hannah. “I figured that you’d have some sort of distraction worked out before coming in here. You were a master at it, when we were kids.”
“A girl’s gotta survive somehow,” Sarah replied.
They laughed and waited for the others to rejoin them. When the rest of the family returned the energy of the intervention was flattened.
Sitting down at the kitchen table where there was lots of food in the middle of being prepared, Sarah’s dad said, “Are you really serious about this polygamy thing?”
“I’m serious about finding out about it, and, if I want to be involved in it,” acknowledged Sarah. “I want to know for sure it’s what I want before I make any decisions about it. I want to have kids and have a big family, but I don’t want to settle for marrying an idiot, or jerk, or worse, just to have a family.” She avoided looking at Brenda when she said this, she’d always felt Brenda had settled for the idiot she married because she had wanted to have children and be married.
“Promise me that if there’s any abuse or mistreatment of women or girls you won’t get into polygamy. Will you promise me that?” her dad pleaded.
“Yes, yes, Dad, I promise,” Sarah assured.”
Journeys We Take
There are many journeys we take throughout our lives. Sometimes it seems life takes us on these journeys whether we want to go or not, and sometimes we choose the journey. There are far and distant places to visit, there are unique, to us, things to do, there are huge life changes that happen, all these are journeys… journeys that we each have to make on our path to find ourselves and our home – the place we belong. Finding the place we belong isn’t an easy journey, sometimes it takes a life time to find, or sometimes it’s just outside our comfort zone – wherever it is, we’re on a quest to find it, that’s our ultimate journey…
I’ve been thinking about these journeys lately and the journey Sarah takes in my book New Parish. The journey she ends up taking isn’t at all the one she thought she’d be on in her life, or at the very least it was far outside her comfort zone. It was not only out of her comfort zone, it was across the country, against her parents wishes, and scared her a bit. Sarah’s journey begins with desire, heartache, and determination – I hope you’ll all enjoy Sarah’s journey to New Parish…
New Parish Coming Soon!!!!!
Excerpt from New Parish:
““What’s wrong with me?” she asked aloud in frustration.
Sarah’s mind went to something her new friend Mary had said when they were working together at the children’s center. Mary had mentioned her home, a place called New Parish in Arizona. Sarah had known her for a few months. Mary was only going to be there for a while longer, just until she finished her degree in early childhood development with the work study program she was involved in at the children’s center.
Sarah thought about the day she’d been complaining about the poor dating prospects and her dream of being a mom floating away from her, when Mary revealed to her that in the community she came from, the people did plural marriages. So, any girl could get a good man and not have to worry about missing out on being a mom. Mary’s descriptions of her home made it sound like a little piece of heaven, where people lived happy lives, and found their happily ever afters.
Sarah sighed, thinking of the small rural community Mary had described, “Maybe…”
The children’s center, had somehow become the hub of Sarah’s social life. She loved children and had always wanted to have a big family of her own, she knew this wasn’t a popular dream for most girls in modern times but it’d always been what she wanted… this was becoming a frustrating distant dream that she was trying very hard not to give up on. Sarah began wondering why people would choose to live that way, in plural marriage, and could she even consider it. She drifted off to sleep with a firm resolve to talk to Mary more about this community and how things work there…”
More Than One Way
All my life I’ve heard that there’s more than one way to do something. That old saying, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat,” always used to gross me out, but it has some real world applications – and some literary ones. In my book New Parish, Sarah definitely finds more than one way to live her life. She grew up in a small town, on a road where everyone knew everyone, then after college moved to Atlanta, which of course is a very large city where most people don’t know their neighbors or the person sitting next to them on the public transportation system. Then she moves to a very small community in the desert of northern Arizona which is more different than any other place she’s ever experienced – with cacti, very short trees, and a healthy smattering of cowboys…
As a writer I like to write about what I know, I’ve visited Savanah Georgia, where Sarah grew up, I’ve visited Atlanta, walked its streets and partaken of the public transportation system. I’ve also lived out west in the area where Sarah settles, and have experienced all the nuances she experiences in moving out there – everything from horse apples, to cacti, to the majestic mountains and mesas that surround the place… and have met a few cowboys along the way as well…
Beside finding more than one place to live, Sarah finds that there’s more than one way to live… finding her happily ever after gets complicated, but she finds her way there – eventually.
New Parish Coming Soon!!!!!!
Excerpt from New Parish: Part of Sarah’s visit to Tybee Island
“Before stepping from the pavement to the sand she removed her shoes so that she could enjoy every second of the experience. Tying the strings of her canvas sneakers together she hung them over the strap to her backpack which she slung over one shoulder. Her oversized blue denim shirt was perfect for this time and place. There were a few white puffy clouds in the sky of brilliant blue, the sun was shining down warming her face with its touch. The light cool breeze from the ocean fanned her long white boho skirt that hung down around her ankles. She took a deep breath and stepped out onto the sand to begin her journey toward the decision that would affect the rest of her life.
Sarah had the beach mostly to herself, she could see a few sage gentlemen standing iconically on the pier fishing, but other than that she was alone with her thoughts and her decision.
The white sand made a slight scrunching sound beneath her feet and she couldn’t resist digging her toes in it as she walked. The waves gently embracing the shore carried her thoughts to a place where there was no ocean – New Parish…
Sarah sighed, “Living there would be so different, just the climate with its dry arid environment would be a challenge,” she thought. “I had to use loads more lotion when I was out there for just a few days. I could get used to that, and invest in tons of lip balm.” She pondered over the mountains and mesas of the surrounding areas of New Parish. She stopped her walk and stared out at the ocean waves in the far distance, some were creating little white caps. “It would be so far away from my family,” she thought. “I’m not one of those girls that needs to be near their mom, but living in Atlanta is near enough to go home any time I want.” Sarah sighed again, the “girl talk” session from her last night in New Parish came into her thoughts, “What if I get into a mess like some of those girls?” She walked on down the beach with her thoughts, feeling very heavy and worrisome now.”
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